{"id":123,"date":"2014-02-04T04:02:45","date_gmt":"2014-02-04T04:02:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/?p=123"},"modified":"2014-02-04T04:25:08","modified_gmt":"2014-02-04T04:25:08","slug":"what-a-pig","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/?p=123","title":{"rendered":"What a Pig!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Vern.<\/a><\/p>\n

When Farmer Joe first met Vernon, he thought he was merely a pig.<\/p>\n

A big pig.<\/p>\n

But as he got to know Vernon, he found out the Swine truly was a neat and tidy fellow after all. There was nothing about him which was piggish. \u00a0Well, except for his snout, and ears, and hooves, and pinkness, and…. wellll… I guess there was a lot about him that was all-hog.<\/p>\n

But.<\/p>\n

Vernon read every issue of “Organize IT” and “Real Simple” Magazines. Little Vern would share tips with the entire group at Farmer Joe and Eloise’s Card Parties.<\/p>\n

Vern would say, “Folks, try placing shower hooks on a closet bar and hang purses from them to keep your carryalls at eye level.” Oh, Joe really loved that one. \u00a0They would laugh, and eat pretzel sticks.<\/p>\n

And then Vernon would throw in a zinger…. like … Oh, what to do with those plastic Kroger bags? Perhaps you should dispense plastic grocery bags with ease by stuffing empties into an old tissue box stored under the sink.”<\/p>\n

Oh, Joe liked that one too. Vernon snorted with glee. It sure helped that Farmer Joe had Obsessive Compulsive Tendencies. I mean, for crying out loud, EVERY YEAR….. he would plant the corn in perfectly straight lines, AND…. he kept all his ducks in a row.<\/p>\n

Then one day, Farmer Joe was rummaging through the cupboard for a pan lid. Eloise just stuffed them all inside, haphazardly. Vern was at it again… and said… “To keep pot lids from rattling around and getting lost in kitchen drawers, position a short tension rod to create a divider. Stack pots and pans in the larger section and lean lids against the rod on the smaller side.”<\/p>\n

Farmer Joe rubbed Vern’s muzzle. “You are the best Vern. I’d say you are a great pig… but you are not a pig at all, for being such a pig. And you smell good…. like Bacon… or something.”<\/p>\n

Joe hugged the hog… and they walked together into the farmhouse, to organize the sewing room. They chatted about the alternate uses of thimbles… and enjoyed a glass of Bourbon on the rocks. Pals they would always be. An OC Farmer and his really neat Pig. \u00a0A match made in farmland.<\/p>\n

Here’s mud in your eye.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things.” \u00a0– Author Unknown<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

“Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.” \u00a0– Sicilian Proverb<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When Farmer Joe first met Vernon, he thought he was merely a pig. A big pig. But as he got to know Vernon, he found out the Swine truly was a neat and tidy fellow after all. There was nothing about him which was piggish. \u00a0Well, except for his snout, and ears, and hooves, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nowyouseeit"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=123"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":128,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123\/revisions\/128"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gollypolly.com\/30473\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}