A dang homebody.  That’s what I am, I’ll tell you.  I love home.  I love BEING at home.

If I travel or go on vacation… … by the third day, I am ready to go.  You guessed it.  Go home.

It is no wonder that I loved the movie E.T.    That little dude just wanted to get back home.  Phone home.

I was thinking that I would have made a completely terrible explorer.  First and foremost, I am not adventurous, at all.  And after the third day, I would have turned around the ship, or the dog sled, or the submarine, space ship, covered wagon, canoe…. WHATEVER….. and headed back for home.

Some explorers in history were better than others.  For instance, Lewis and Clark did a pretty decent job.

Some explorers weren’t very nice when they arrived at a new place.  Find and conquer was their motto, I suppose.

Then there were guys like Henry Hudson,  He made his first voyage from England in 1607.  Twice, he was turned back by ice.  I’m thinking the guy either set sail at the wrong time of year, or he was steering due north.

The third time he took off… he got across the Atlantic… and headed right up the Hudson River.  It wasn’t named that back then….  they named it for him.  Albeit. He was looking for the dang Panama Canal.  (I wonder if they will rename the Roku… the KronyKu, perhaps?)

On his fourth voyage West, he wound right back around the Hudson River…. spent months drifting around the Hudson Bay… and eventually fell victim by a disgruntled crew.  Yep.  Mutiny.  In the Hudson.

I would have been a bumbler… like Hudson… had I set out to explore.

As fate would have it.  I am not sewn that way.  I am not an inventor, or explorer, or a voyager.  My wires don’t connect like that.  It is probably a good thing, really.

Conversely.  I am very good at sitting with my tapioca thought processes….  in my soft, warm bed…. with a big bowl of snacks on my lap… with my honey to my left… and my dogs at my feet…. watching reruns of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour.  Yep.

And sometimes… just being with myself… is all the adventure I can handle.

So won’t you show me the way to go home.

“Explore thyself. Herein are demanded the eye and the nerve.” – Henry David Thoreau

We all have likes and dislikes in life.  Just a simple fact about our human nature.

Now for me, “The Cold” is one of my biggest dislikes.  Not the Common Cold.  Those I don’t mind nearly as much as “Being Cold”

Cold weather brings the bad news right to me.  It is not just some fickle dislike.  For instance.  I am not real crazy about Donald Trump, or his hair.  I’m not too fond of people who fake being handicapped to get the parking pass…..  or even the smell of cow manure pits.  No.

My dislike for the cold is much greater.  It is more like my Arch Rival.  The Enemy.  My Bane of Banes.

A curse.  The blight.  An affliction.  Misery. Woe. (I wonder if I’m being clear enough about this….  )

And yet.   I am beginning to see that even with our biggest disappointments in life, our greatest fears, our deepest pains…. sometimes there is something to be learned.  Some thing to see.  Some thing to appreciate.  To treasure.

And on occasion, if we look really hard, we can see the beauty of it.

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” – Confucius

“What you do, the way you think, makes you beautiful.” – John Westerfeld

Today I spent a little time in a health treatment care facility.

Several people were receiving chemotherapy in the same area where I was.

As I walked through, to where my Dad and I would be sitting… every single person looked up, from the IVs and tubes, and blankets……  and they smiled.

Genuine smiles.

The most of them looked like they probably didn’t feel like a smile.  Yet, they offered one regardless.

It was a true an act of kindness.  An effort to welcome and comfort without saying a word.

Yet they spoke volumes.

Phenomenal.  Simply, and purely…….amazing.  As in, grace.

“It is not what they profess but what they practice that makes them good” – Greek Proverb

Today was a very special day for me.  So special in fact, that I decided to do something…. …. oh so very fun!  So.  Off I went to Big Udder Way…. the biggest Cow Racing Track in all of Camden.

And.

Once again, the Cow Races simply got out of hand.

Bessie….  just a nose from lead… made the mistake of looking toward the camera flashes.  She wanted to show her best profile for the newspaper photo….  Ahhhh…. she could see the headlines of the Sports Pages now….

And just then… Mabel took a commanding lead.

It was a little sad to watch… but that is how the Cow Races go.

The first races were held in what is now Donegal, Pennsylvania, in 1623.  Granton Bellamy and Charles Whitenforth were the “founders” of The Cow Race.  While the Grass Juleps were not a popular drink at the races, Bellamy & Whitenforth soon discovered that Mint was a more popular choice.   From that point on, they only used the grass for medicinal purposes.

But that is another story.

The Cow Races eventually gave way to the more popular Horse Race.  And Kentucky surpassed Pennsylvania as the “racing” capital of the U.S.  This was mainly due to slightly warmer temperatures, and longer racing seasons.

At any rate.  I’ll take a good Cow Race any day.  They last longer.

And if you don’t drink Grass Juleps…  They always Got Milk.

No Bull.

“Winning isn’t always finishing first. Sometimes winning is just finishing.”
– Manuel Diotte

“Not as easy as One. Two. Three.  But… I like Three. Four. Five.”
– P C Kronenberger

The era of “Beam Me Up Scotty” is upon us.

While our physical bodies are not yet being zapped from place to place, all sorts of other things are!

Photos, Stories, Bank Statements, Registration Forms…., books from Amazon…., shoes from Zappos.

Zip.  Zap.  And Alakazam.

Way back when mass communication got its start… things were all hooked together by the very physical presence of wires, and plugs and switches.

We owe the big and wonderful BEGINNING of this to Mr. Alexander Graham “Can You Hear Me NOW” Bell.  This, just happens to be his birthday… March 3, 1847.

But back to “Star Trekish-ness”…

There are sound waves, microwaves, radio waves, particles, signals, digital transmissions, and on and on.

Around the planet, exists a swirling mass of digital soup… thick in the air.

Like whirled peas.  Oh… HOW I long for whirled peas.

Some people hope for baby cheeses.  Me? It is simply peas.

ANYWAY… back to the digital chowder.

These signals are moving around us, through us… in and out… up an down.

Why…just yesterday… I swear there were voices in my head.  But alas… I think I was just tuning in on someones text message from Boise, Idaho to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

Holy Cow… it is no wonder I am tired all the time.  I’ve got this deluge of digital goo infiltrating my blood system at a molecular level.  My blood type is something like….

…. like … O+ 2.5 MgHz.

In a few years, we won’t have cell phones, or iPads…. laptops, or even TVs.  Nope.  We’ll all just get a chip.  They will put the chip in our heads.  That’s how we will send and receive calls… watch TV… and news reports…. play games… send messages.  Yep.

It will save millions on production costs.  It will save many planetary resources.  It will be cleaner and more efficient.

It scares the heck out of me and creeps me out.  To no end.    They will know where we are, and what we are thinking…. before we do. They’ll know if we are late, early, or in between.   You won’t know if you ar talking to the person standing in front of you… or if they are on a phone call to Little Rock, Arkansas.  People will get hacked.    It’s going to be a crappy mess.

First… there was the end of the gosh darn Twinkie.  (The Mayan Calendar “Called” that ONE… I might add!)

But yes… first “No More Twinkies” and the next thing you know… the end of free thought.

Happy Birthday Alexander.   Whatever have you done Alex?  Whatever have you done?

“It’s not the same to talk of bulls as to be in the bullring” – Spanish Proverb

This is funny how the brain works.  Last night… I wrote ambiguously about “signs”….  AND I mentioned that I either don’t get any “signs” or I miss them completely.

Now today.

Today.  I have had Dr. Seuss on the brain all day long.  Honestly.  I bet he has come up in conversation at least four times since this morning.  And tonight, I spent a great length of time thinking about my favorite Dr. Seuss book.  Probably The Sneetches.

At any rate, tonight I sat down to write this piece.  What to write, what to write.  I decided to take a look and see who was born on this day… this second of March.

Jon Bon Jovi. Nope, no interest there.  Daniel Craig. Nice enough guy, probably.  Jay Osmond. No, no. Ben Roethlisberger. QB of my favorite team…..  but still.  Nadda.

And then….  THEN …. looky who’s here.   Theodor Seuss Geisel.  There it IS.   Dr. Seuss.  Born  on today’s date…. March 2nd, 1904.

HA!  Maybe there truly ARE signs!  But what does it mean?

I shall seek and find.  Surely, certainly…..this cryptic message from the Universe may mean something significant on this day.

As I read a little more about him tonight, I found that we have absolutely nothing in common.  Nothing.

Well…. Okay.  A couple of things.

For instance.  I like his books.  He wrote his books.

One of the stories is called Myrtle the Turtle.   Well, I never had a turtle.  BUT… ….. I used to eat Turtle Soup.

Ummmmm.  Let’s see.  He wrote The Sneetches.  The Sneetches is one of my favorite books.  (That is kind of like the first example.  Crap.  This is going nowhere.)

So there you have it.  I got a sign.

But again…. uhhhhhhhh.

I see there’s a sign.
Yes…. A sign it could be.
It means something big.
Just as large as a tree.

I can’t tell the color
This sign isn’t green.
So surely enough…
I don’t know what it means.

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” – Dr. Seuss

I’ve heard some people say… “If only I could have some sort of sign.”

Now, for me, if there ARE any signs… I miss them completely.
Or perhaps I just don’t get any.

In either case.  I am extremely glad and grateful that there is nary a sign to be had.

You know, that just might be a sign of something.

But what?

I’m sure, I will never know.

“The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working”
– Unknown

This morning, Pope Benedict XVI, officially said his goodbyes to Rome, stepped on a shiny white helicopter, and took to the skies.  As the frail old man boarded the craft, Scott Pelley of CBS news solemnly reported, “And earlier in the day, the Pope Tweeted a message to the loyal Catholics around the world: ‘Thank you for your love and support. May you always experience the joy that comes from putting Christ at the centre of your lives.'”
And there it is.  Pointy hat and all.

Now I know Scott Pelley has to say the words on the teleprompter… but really.  Pope Benedict can hardly hold his head up without assistance… DON’T tell me he is on his iPad… sending out random Tweets.

“Just ate a Holy Hamburger…. Holy Cow… it was delicious.”

“I wonder if my Purple Robe with Gold Piping makes my butt look big.”

No. No. No.  The Pope is not on Twitter.  Oh sure.  Someone representing him IS.  But Benny Boy just doesn’t have it in him.

Yet here we are.  Immersed in the world filled with Social Media.  Tweets, Texts, Emails, Websites, Apps, Facebook, WiFi, and everything in between.  The youth of today does not know life without a computer.  This is the world in which we live.  I think I read it on Reddit.

Which brings me to this evening.  I just returned home from the Annual Preble County Chamber of Commerce Annual Awards.  The Keynote Speaker addressed the audience with the topic of “Sunny Side Up in Rural America” (A great presentation by Mary Bullen!  I’m not biased, either.)

But here we are… out in the country.  Sunny it is indeed.

Oh, sure.  There a pluses and minuses to everything in life.  But I do appreciate living in a rural community. Small town America.  A place where everybody knows your name.

Tonight as I walked in to the local High School Cafetorium, and found my table, I was greeted by numerous people, all offering genuine smiles, hugs, words of kindness.  Many were not close friends… but friends… in the truest sense.  The kind of people that really care about one another.  They help each other.  They would help me.  From presidents of corporations, to the owner of the hardware store on Maple Street.

This is such a grand and noble thing.  This is OUR TOWN.

One of the points the speaker made this evening is that the majority of the people living here…. DO SO… BECAUSE it is a small community.  A place where things are slower, crimes are fewer, the air is cleaner.  People stop and say hello.

Our world is continually swirling with activity.  The digital age is upon us, and it is every where.  So it is nice to have a respite every now and again.  Most folks don’t necessarily want the physical masses coming here.  We wouldn’t care for the traffic jams, or an increase in crime statistics….. or any of the other things that get traded down for larger community living.  Nope.

I think the most of us don’t mind doing without an O’Charley’s and an Applebee’s on every corner.  I think the most of us have a grand appreciation for the tremendous value that this place already holds.  We try to build on those strengths, and work on taking care of our treasures.

A place where people pat you on the back, and smile… where they tip their hats… and still stop simply to say hello.

And you can Tweet me on that.

“…A community needs a soul if it is to become a true home for human beings. You, the people must give it this soul.” – Pope John Paul II

(AUTHOR’S NOTE: I should have written in the original text… THIS IMAGE IS PHOTOSHOPPED. I would tackle anyone who might point a gun at one of my loved ones… INCLUDING my dogs. EVEN if it means getting shot.)

I have an opinion on everything under the sun, I’ll tell you.  But when I was very young, my parents said it might not be a good idea to speak about politics or religion.   Soooooooooo….. wellllllll……..

The big thing in the news these days is Gun Safety Issues and the Second Amendment.  I will not weigh in on this here.  AT ALL.

Now the Amendments are a grand and glorious thing.  I really WILL sing the praises of the U.S. Constitution. and our freedoms.

For those of you who are not familiar…..

The Second Amendment (Amendment II) to the United States Constitution is the part of the United States Bill of Rights that states: “A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” It was adopted on December 15, 1791, along with the rest of the Bill of Rights.

And that is the deal, as written then.

Yet…. today in the news…..

A Florida man was shot and wounded over the weekend by his dog, who walked away without charges, police said.

Good thing, this here Second Amendment.  Otherwise, the dog might have faced charges.  Actually… as stated in the article below, the investigation is pending against “The Dog”

His name has not been released…. to protect his identity.

Sometimes the animal kingdom speaks to us in ways we will never understand.

Other times…. they just pull out a gun and shoot you.

Gregory Dale Lanier, 35, of Frostproof, Fla., told police Saturday that he and his dog were in their truck in nearby Sebring when the dog kicked a gun that was on the truck’s floor, the Highlands Tribune newspaper reported.

The gun went off, shooting Lanier in the leg, Sebring police said.

Lanier wasn’t seriously injured, said Sebring Police Cmdr. Steve Carr, who actually said police didn’t arrest the dog because the investigation was pending, the Tribune reported.

He also said he had never heard of a similar case.

According to the police report, Lanier said he was driving along State Road 17 North when the dog kicked “the unloaded .380 pistol.” It went on to say that Lanier was “surprised” to learn not only that the gun was loaded, but also that it was actually a 9mm weapon, not a .380.

The incident is only the latest in a string of bizarre shootings in Florida. Just last week, a woman in St. Petersburg was wounded when she was shot by a friend’s oven.

The Easy Bake variety.  Probably.

“While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.” – Stephen R. Covey

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.”- Mahtama Gandhi

“The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage.” – Thucydides

As you sit and enjoy your bowl of Rice Krispies this morning, think about how far we have come in this little world of ours.

The story I am about to tell you, is true.

John Harvey was a Seventh-day Adventist.  He gained a whole big bunch of fame while being the chief medical officer of the Battle Creek Sanitarium (in Michigan).   This was mostly back during the late part of the 1800s.    The Sanitarium was run based on the church’s health principles.

This would include such things as following a vegetarian diet, abstinence from alcohol and tobacco, and a regimen of exercise.  Good old John Harvey followed this point of lifestyle…… among other things.

But here is an interesting part of it.  He put a whole lot of weight in this because Johnny was concerned with reducing sexual stimulation.  He  thought that discouraging meat-eating…. and the like …. well……  helped with this.

John Harvey was an especially strong proponent of nuts, which he believed would save mankind in the face of decreasing food supply.  Nuts.

At the Battle Creek Sanitarium, John Harvey made residents take part in breathing exercises and mealtime marches to promote proper digestion of food throughout the day. And sunbaths.

This next part sounds very pleasant… indeed.  He made sure that the bowel of each and every patient was plied with water, from above and below.

His favorite device was an enema machine that could rapidly instill several gallons of water in a series of enemas.  I swear I am not making this up.   Every water enema was followed by a pint of yogurt — half was eaten, the other half was administered by enema.  He thought this created a squeaky-clean intestine.  Not to mention other things.

Oh my oh my…. it KEEPS going.  John really was a  gifted guy.  He was a skilled surgeon who often donated his services to indigent patients at his clinic.  Nice enough yes.

And…. although generally against unnecessary surgery to treat diseases… he DID advocate circumcision, and other mutilation-type surgeries….  allegedly to prevent masturbation.

As an advocate of sexual abstinence, John Harvey devoted large amounts of his work to discouraging sexual activity.  He warned that many types of sexual activity, including many “excesses” that couples could be guilty of within marriage, were against nature, and therefore, extremely unhealthy.

His biggest rule… again…. NO masturbation.   He felt that masturbation destroyed not only physical and mental health, but the moral health of individuals as well. Johnny surmised that this “solitary-vice” caused cancer of the womb, urinary diseases, nocturnal emissions, impotence, epilepsy, insanity, and mental and physical debility… and of course… dimness of vision.  Teenage boys…. beware.   You’ll go blind.

As if that isn’t enough…. he worked on the rehabilitation of those wicked masturbators, often employing extreme measures, even mutilation, on both sexes.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any whackier….  (no pun intended) John was outspoken on his beliefs on race and segregation.  He founded the Race Betterment Foundation, which became a major center of the new eugenics movement in America. John Harvey was in favor of racial segregation and believed that immigrants and non-whites would damage the gene pool.

He had many notable patients, such as former president William Howard Taft, composer and pianist Percy Grainger, arctic explorers Vilhjalmur Stefansson and Roald Amundsen, world travelers Richard Halliburton and Lowell Thomas, aviator Amelia Earhart, economist Irving Fisher, Nobel prize winning playwright George Bernard Shaw, actor and athlete Johnny Weissmuller, founder of the Ford Motor Company Henry Ford, inventor Thomas Edison, and actress Sarah Bernhardt.  I kid you freaking NOT!  I don’t know what they saw him for…. but they were all patients.

Done with the Rice Krispies yet?  Well this guy… was John Harvey….. Kellogg.   And….. today is his birthday.  2/26/1852 – 12/14/1943.    Yep.  The Founder of Kellogg’s Cereal… and inventor of the Corn Flake.  Slayer of the Masturbator.

Snap.  Crackle. Pop.

“Illusion is the first of all pleasures.” – Oscar Wilde